did you really forgive them?

I have always tried hard to be a forgiving person and I really have felt in the past, that I knew what forgiving someone was, until now.

there are several things I have done in the past to forgive someone. I have thought about what they did and seen that it was in the past. I have decided mentally to forgive them. I have prayed and asked God to forgive them. I have prayed for them.

Out of these and other things the biggest thing that made the biggest difference was deeply talking to my maker and asking him to "forgive them for they know not what they do."

When I do this there is just a peaceful and happy feeling that comes over me.

When I have done this I have felt like I really forgave them,

Until Now!

Today I was driving the ol police car and I was thinking about someone that I had "forgiven" and that had wronged me in a very rude and mean and vengefull way and I told myself that I had forgiven him and then I said what we all have said.

"He will get his." Its the idea of God will punish him for what he did. Its the idea that carma or fate or the universe will "get him back." Its the sew what you reap concept.

When I had this thought I realized that I as feeling vindictive toward this person. I realized that I hoped and wanted and believed that he would be punished for his actions.

In fact I wanted him to be punished by God for his actions.

Well when I realized this I realized that true forgiveness possesses absolutely no vindictiveness.

Christ did not say "I forgive them but make sure you punish them."

I don't remember Christ telling the people that he forgave that "what comes around goes around."

The truth is if I am still feeling vindictive or if I still think they deserve to be punished then I have not truly forgiven.

Along these notes - What comes around goes around. If I want them to be punished for what they have done, for their wrongs, then in all fairness I will be punished for what I did wrong, for my infractions.

Of course I want mercy. So perhaps its time I had some mercy and showed it to others.

From hence forth I will truly forgive and hope good to those that wrong me. I will pray that I can completely forgive them, that God will completely forgive them, and that good fortune will come their way.

Any less is not forgiveness, it is just acting like forgiveness.